Sweet mornings

All i wanted was you,
You gave me a chance
but now you deny me,
I miss your body,
They way you touch,
The way you moan,
The way you twist,
Agony is all i will know,
If our sweet sin,
Will never remember,
Maybe it was never ment to be,
But at that moment ,
Even Jesus enjoyed your moans,
My sweet tree seeking shade from the sun,
You run away yet it will make you bloom,
But i am happy i found you,
If you choose to be a chapter,
If you choose to be a verse,
At least you are in the book,

I'll move on. 
I always have,
I have no choice,
So hope my tears water you,
So you remain perenial.
An ebony flower,
Beautiful in a world
Of flowerless misery.

Kk
21/12/15

Will it change?

Life is so unfair sometimes,
You think you're winning,
You were running the wrong race the entire time,
You think you have outmaneuvered,
You were heading the wrong way,
Funny that sometimes all we ever wanted
Is all we never needed,
You wont know till the end,
Working hard for your prize,
But its your pride that's hurt,

Maybe it's the chase that counts
Or your heart as you persue,
But no fruit will ensue,
In this duel you had no clue,
Your expectations subdue,

But we always come back,
Hope things will be different,
Maybe ill seek out the truth,
If you dont try you'll never know.

Kk
8/12/15

For my beauty looking for her beast

A story is told of the gorgoyle of rich tower
With a brisk smile and African hair.
With peirced ears and dyed hair,
His speech was returded. Some say he had an accent,
His skin was pale and his teeth brown.
He smoked, smoked his heart away,
As they passed they looked to him,
With his strong muscles.
They said he could fight ten men at a go.
But his promiscous nature made him fall,
Yet in his heart he knew the truth, the truth about everything.
He didn't know what they felt.
He knew what he loved.
As his big beard touched the town's floor.
The tatoos on it showed the people the truth.
Gave them their heart's desires.
Some were of fire and eternal misery,
Some of loyalty and blood
And some of wrechedness and evil
But the gorgoyle did not mind,
He sat on, he stared on,
The smoke flowing from his hands and feet,
His eyes,  his eyes, they glow with love and happiness,
He wished well for the ants,
His heart,  the sculptor made of marble,
Yet i saw him cry one day,
His tears of fire like a dragon's salaiva,
They burnt into his visage,
Her breasts burnt with every moarn,
I laughed at her, what kind of life this was,
Yet she spoke like thunder,
Her locks of hair,
Silver like her breath,
She sat, she saw. As they pulled her down,
Broke her stone heart let the fire in her eyes consume her soul,
Bitter like her blood,  the hounds died after licking their wounds,
She had no teeth,  yet she consumed every man's soul.
Inside her beard a knife,
Like a stack of hay  in a needle
She hid it,
Cutting all including herself,
As she burnt the steam she produced made my neighbors strong.
Her ashes made the ocean blue and the trees green.
She will surely live a painful life.

Kk
1/1/2015

Throne

Remember the moment you left me alone and
Broke every promise you ever made
I was an ocean, lost in the open
Nothing could take the pain away

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

The sticks and the stones that
You used to throw have
Built me an empire
So don’t even try
To cry me a river
Cause I forgive you
You are the reason I still fight

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

I’ll leave you choking
On every word you left unspoken
Rebuild all that you’ve broken
And now you know
I’ll leave you choking
On every word you left unspoken
Rebuild all that you’ve broken
And now you know
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

----- 'throne' as sung by bring me the horizon ----

HR?

Human relationships?
I don’t get them,
there are never equals in play Always I’m better than you,
Though you don’t say it its clearly visible,
A bag of lies and deceit,
that’s what makes up a good relationship
The bad thing is that we are the victims and perpetuators of these relationships
We are the succubus’s that can never be quenched.
We make up lies to the ones that matter for reasons not worth the lie,
We ignore the ones we care about,
because of the larger than life egos we carry,
We cheat and lie to get moments of pleasure,
We have forgotten what is really important,
The reason we had this relationship in the first place,
We needed a shoulder to lean on,
We needed someone to talk to about our deepest darkest secrets,
We needed someone to make us smile and feel happy again,
We needed a friend,
It’s useless telling you who is reading this to change,
Change is not easy to come by,
And I doubt you will ever change,
It’s human nature to need affection
But it’s against human nature to give affection.

Kk

14/08/2015

Believe

A lot changes with time..
Change is inevitable..
But so is hope and believe..
Alot has changed over the years..
But my believe is strong..
It never falters..
It remains constant..
In my short time here
Ive learnt that everything is bound to change,
Your heart will deceive you,
Your mind will fail you,
Your mouth will betray you,,
Cycle of life,  it happened to jesus also FYI,
But your believe,,  not belief,
Your faith you should keep constant,,
Your reason to live,
I know i will,,
I would rather die than give up,
So through the tides of time
My strongest foundation is my believe,,
A reality i can't describe but will die to achieve

Kk
15/7/2015

Ruining my heaven

Sometimes i think to myself,
do i deserve this?
i work hard at tuning my environment, but quite often my environment doesn't tune to me,
but its where i feel at home
can i belong and be uncomfortable at once?
am i the one ruining my eutopia?
is my environment evolving faster than i am ?
in a world full of pretenders,
empathy is a thing of the past,
sometimes the hard reality is the only reality,
sometimes the only reprive we have are the drugs we so well use,
but no matter your circumstance,  remember,
joy is inside out,
pain is outside in..
sometimes the harsh environment makes a beautiful diamond off an ugly coal
im being very positive today no idea why... 

kk
14/07/2015

Ruining my heaven

Sometimes i think to myself,
do i deserve this?
i work hard at tuning my environment, but quite often my environment doesn't tune to me,
but its where i feel at home
can i belong and be uncomfortable at once?
am i the one ruining my eutopia?
is my environment evolving faster than i am ?
in a world full of pretenders,
empathy is a thing of the past,
sometimes the hard reality is the only reality,
sometimes the only reprive we have are the drugs we so well use,
but no matter your circumstance,  remember,
joy is inside out,
pain is outside in..
sometimes the harsh environment makes a beautiful diamond off an ugly coal
im being very positive today no idea why... 

kk
14/07/2015

Stuck

I feel lonely,. No.. alone. lost in the neurotic world that is my mind,
It hurts so good, this self inflicted torment, filling my mind with need ,craving for a connection.. and wallowing in the crude reality of the lack of existence of the same. I'm stuck between practicality and reality and the impossibility of all things being possible.

I fucking need a hug.

-undecided
14/7/2015

never

forever,
forever is a big word,
forever is a feeling,
forever is for a moment,
forever is not forever,
forever is a lie,
for all the forevers i've heard,
forever ill wait,
for those who promised,
forever,
for forevers are forever a lie
forever misused,
forever waited upon,
forever misguided,
forever misled,
for now i've learnt,
forever means never,

kk
27/04/2015

Freedom— Better Now By Muhammad Ali

Better far— from all I see—
To die fighting to be Free
What more fitting end could be?
Better surely than in some bed
Where in broken health I'm led
Lingering until I'm dead
Better than with prayers and pleas
Or in the clutch of some disease
Wasting slowly by degrees
Better than a heart attack
or some dose of drug I lack
Let me die by being Black
Better far that I should go
Standing here against the foe
Is the sweeter death to know
Better than the bloody stain
on some highway where I’m lain
Torn by flying glass and pane
Better calling death to come
than to die another dumb,
muted victim in the slum
Better than of this prison rot
if there’s any choice I’ve got
Kill me here on the spot
Better for my fight to wage
Now while my blood boils with rage
Less it cool with ancient age
Better violent for us to die
Than to Uncle Tom and try
Making peace just to live a lie
Better now that I say my Sooth
I’m gonna die demanding Truth
While I’m still akin to youth
Better now than later on
Now that fear of death is gone
Never mind another dawn.

Freedom— Better Now
By Muhammad Ali

Can anybody hear me

Can anybody hear me?
Or am I talking to myself?
My mind is running empty
In the search for someone else
Who doesn't look right through me.
It's all just static in my head
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted up
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down? (come down)
'Cause I'm tired of drifting around and round (and round)
Can I please come down?

I'm deafened by the silence
Is it something that I've done?
I know that there are millions
I can't be the only one who's so disconnected
It's so different in my head.
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted up
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down? (come down)
'Cause I'm tired of drifting around and round (and round)
Can I please come down?

Now I lie awake and scream in a zero gravity
And it's starting to weigh down on me.
Let's abort this mission now
Can I please come down?

So tonight I'm calling all astronauts
All the lonely people that the world forgot
If you hear my voice come pick me up
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

And tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted up
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
To the lonely people that the world forgot
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

Can I please come down?
'Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.
Can I please come down?

simple plan
astronaut
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-MgRkSh5Xk

my forever.

How I got here, I have no idea

All I know love was to blame,

How it came to all this,

I don’t know,

All I know, you were to blame,

Youth and ignorance is all I remember,

But to this bright new world, I find myself

Yet you did not force me,

You gently guided me,

Took my hand, lit up a fire that still burns,

You showed me the world,

The world I can now never forget,

Our time was short-lived yet

Our love will live forever,

I shall not forget you,

You lit my path, made my future,

An angel in disguise you made me see the truth,

I found the truth in your embrace,

My reality in your words,

My life in your song,

As I stand here on the other side,

My emotions, they well up,

I can’t cry, I’m not sad,

Yet my tears, they betray me,

I’m overwhelmed by your touch,

It feels so real, yet you are not here,

I close my eyes,

Imagine you are here beside me,

But all I have are memories,

So I rip my heart out,

And in its place I keep your memories,

They beat to your rhythm,

I dance to its beat,

And know that forever is ok,

Forever now pumps deep inside me.

KK and J

21/04/2015

i am

i am the extreme you will never reach,
the infinity you cannot see,
i am the depths you cannot measure,
i am the feeling you cannot explain,
 i am the words you cannot pronounce,
 i am the light you cannot see,
the darkness you cannot stand,
the stain you cannot wash,
i  am the beauty you will never have,
 the pleasure you always wanted,
 the courage you lack,
i am the weakness in your bones,
i am the shortness in your breath,
the evil in your heart,
the pain in your chest,
i am the high you seek,
the low that you always are,
 i am the inspiration you lack
, i am the rejection you feel,
the hole in your heart,
i am the spark you lack in your eyes,
 i am the sadness you feel,
 the ice in your heart,
 i am the bite on your neck,
the cross on your chest,
 the scar on your face,
i am your dreams,
your worst nightmare,
 i am the ghost at night,
 the shadow in your shadow,
i am the tint on your skin,
 i am the desire of your life,
 i am what you chase after,
 i am beyond your wildest imagination,
 i am the beat of your heart
, i am the one that wakes you up late at night,
i am the one that makes your hair stand on end,
 i am what makes you different,
i am the one pulling you down,
 i am the best part of your life,
 i am what makes you cry at night,
 i am the clouds in your brightest day,
 the fear that lurks,
i am dismay,
your demons,
 i am you........

 i am whom i am...

kk

14/4/2015

time

time, its my biggest enemy
i cant turn time back
back to the days when
i had the opportunity
to change my present
yet time is such a bitch
constantly reminding
of the chances i missed
of the smile id have right now
that there is no second chance
of my foolishness,
but time lends a shoulder
waste your time
as you cry your heart out.
but no matter how much you cry
the truth is you'll never
turn back time
so cry on, at least you can do that

kk
10/04/2015

the humblest man on earth

While I am not the meekest man in the world,

I know this much

Pride comes before a fall

But pride is such a big word

It’s like murder,

It’s the last thing anyone of us would like to be called,

Can one be proud and not know of it?

I am not sure

But the falling part

I am very sure about,

Maybe it’s due to the euphoria

The feeling of being ahead of your peers

Isn’t that pride?

But that’s what we chase after all our lives

Being ahead of the pack?

That’s sarcastic!

Animals that operate in packs care about the pack as a whole

There cannot exist pride in the ranks,

We desperately need approval from our peers,

Yet we always want to be ahead of them,

Never want them to be at par,

Pride, jealousy, all pages in the same book.

Moral dilemma?

I think not, I don’t know what causes this

But hey, let’s blame it on eve

That bitch cost everyone everything

So next time you think you aren’t proud,

Ask me, I won’t lie, I’ll tell you to your face.

But please don’t tell me if I am,

Because without your approval,

My self-esteem will drown.

And I with it,

For what is a man but his fellow men’s opinion of himself?

Kk

4/03/2015

To a dear friend, in the direst of need

To a dear friend, in the direst of need,

It may feel wrong,

It may feel like it’s all over

It may seem that all hope is lost

But don’t lose hope in your self

Ignore the world and build your own

Seek not to derive happiness from others

But from your own heart

If it was big enough for two

It should last you two life times

I hope I bring much needed comfort

For you have been among the many reasons I smile

I laugh, I love,

Be brave my dearest,

Face and conquer the world,

And like alexander mourn when there is no more to conquer

You are the bravest of hearts,

The strongest of souls,

I cannot help you across this bridge,

You must do it on your own.

But if you trip, clench the misty air

And I will stretch my hand to hold you

I will not forsake you

And when you join me on the other side

We will celebrate,

Tales of the one who conquered the world

To become their own person

So don’t lose sight of the finish line

And most of all don’t look back.

Trod on look to the end

And if the bridge collapses

I will send out my eagles to rescue you

If you find a troll guarding the bridge

I will shoot a spear right through his heart.

And when you join me, the stars will shine for us both,

But the sun will blow for you, the earth will smile,

For you have conquered the world!!

Dearest friend.

Kk

04/03/2015

Torture me

The mark on my head makes you ran away.
The scar on my blue heart makes you forsake me.
Though you feel it,  you continue to walk away.
Though you see me suffer,  you turn your back.
You are all I want and at the same time all I can never have.
If I could swim to get to you,  I wouldn't because you'd still deny me.
I'd write a million love songs but without your replies,  they'd be meaningless echoes.
I'd catch a grenade for you but you'd watch me die.
I am nothing to you and nothing pains me more than this.
All I could do is be thankful you are closeby. Though not by my side,  somewhere near my shadow,  though you'll never love me like I want you to.
I could make due with your pretty smile,  your lovely voice and your presence near me for the little time I have.
For this is my end,  an adjournment to my journey.
It certainly isn't my last,
But it's among my best.
I will not run away,
My presence in the shadows will errode anything we ever had.
My curse will carry on,
Torture me with another dangle I'll never get to.
My tears will dry up,  I'll be a distant memory,  an extinct species in your evolution.
But on my death bed I'll remember you,  remember your laughter,  your touch,  your face, among with the many others my hermatia has brought me across.
I'll shed a tear and give up, life's a bitch anyhow.
I'll never get what I want!!
Kk
3/03/2015

Human

Let's talk about being human.
Being cursed.
Was it the apple that Adam ate?
Was it of our own bringing?
We struggle so hard to overcome our true selves
Evade our inner nature,
So we spend decades building careers,  religions, virtues, morals.
All in vain I say.
For what reason do we need these things..  to bring in more vanity?
Science, riches,  power, money..
All vanity,  yet its what we seek with all our hearts.
Driven by jealousy,  hate,  greed and lust.
This is the true human nature.
Given the gift of intelligence and all the curses that come with it,
The universe does not smile upon us.  It mourns for us,  we don't need the devil to ruin us we are already ruined by birth.
Yet as much as we try to fight back we cannot,
Most of us retreat.  Live our lives in the shadows fulfilling our lusts and absurd virtues,  we wait for death,  to free us of this suffering,
Yet we mourn the dead,  we become sad that the deceased will no longer fill our voids that demand filling with the lusts of the world,  that he/she cannot feed our in born greed.
If this was brought by our original parents for eating the fruit.
Then it's too harsh a punishment,  I'd rather be wiped off the earth than continue in this cocoon built by lies upon lies upon lies that our forefathers built to hide their sins.  To be rid of their shame,
Yet unwillingly we are forced to continue its construction so that our sons and daughters can carry the family traditions..
Poor is the man who cannot see this for himself,  even if he owned all the gold in the world,  he'd be as blind as a bat..
And dead is the man who sees this filth but denies it in his heart,
For denying this is an insult to God.. 
So as you continue to fufill your grotesque needs,  quench that undying thirst,  for there's nothing left to do.  Know you are the filth of the earth,  the universe spits on you..  man cannot colonize the universe.  It wil crush him. For what is he to the world but a fat rat who breeds in the masters kitchen? Soon he might be exterminated.  But the world is every thing to man.
So as you see death and despair,  do not shed a tear, for it is of your own making . You should be happy to see the tree your forefathers planted is finally bearing fruit and you are next in line vermin!!!

Kk